Grief: The Real 2020 Pandemic

When you look back at 2020, what do you remember? Do you remember how scary the month of March was? Does the thought of isolating and stay-at-home orders come to mind? Do you remember the mass hysteria over the toilet paper shortage? Maybe a major life change in terms of life events, vacations, or other plans cancelled or change? Or do you remember when you first did a Zoom Call and realized this is what life might be like?

The year 2020 was one that can be remembered, but also one that maybe many wished that they have forgotten, for thousands of reasons, and my reason isn't unlike many others. We all grieved a loss during that year. My girlfriend lost her grandfather to cancer in January. My friend lost a childhood pet in July. We all lost a few months of our lives to the fears of the unknown and the 6 feet that stood between us.

I remember 2020 for something that had nothing to do with COVID, as others have as well, but mine was about a grief I never expected to face. The grief of losing my brother.

Poor mental heath is something I have experienced and seen in the world around me, but I never thought it would affect those closest to me. I don't think we as people really except the fact the worst things in life can happen to the people we love the most. That's why, when the Coronavirus hit the United States, we acted like we were untouchable. Until things escalated and began affecting just about everyone, we continued to gather together and try to avoid the inevitable.

That's why I think I grieved the loss of my brother so much harder; because he died in January to a pandemic that is even more deadly and a lot less talked about. Suicide.

I hope to use this blog as a way to help understand, help, and de-stigmatize the hardships and impacts that can be felt by anyone at anytime. There are resources to help and things can and will get better.